She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. Not all babies become this sensitive, and it does seem as if your daughter is feeling quite secure. i just feel like a bad parent coz as soon as my partner comes home my daughter is all smiles again, so she makes me out to be a lier. I loved my baby boy the minute I saw the ultrasound. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. Or that babies dont do that. We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. Babies and moms dont automatically bond; just like anyone else they need to spend time together. Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! At about 12 months she became very much a mammas girl and now when i leave her to go to work she is loving to my boyfriend when i am gone but when she can see me she seems to hate him. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. My husbands dad invited us to go to Branson and get away before my Husband starts the engineering program at K-State. Maybe you can decide that she goes out a couple of evenings a week, so that you can keep 100% focus on having a good time with your daughter. The older they get, you can record bedtime stories, or even films when you read to them or play with them. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. Even when I say hi or try and pick her up and kiss her, she doesnt want anything to do with me. Im totally on the same boat as all of you(s)! for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. Our relationship has became better in the past few months and she seems to like me more than before. So who knows, within a month, you might be carrying a whining little daughter all day long. this time we were alone in the room. amitabh bachchan interview 1984; breckenridge mn high school; baby rejecting mom after going back to work. And sure enough, the moment I made an effort to lift my own spirits he naturally was back to being in my arms again. Its even worse now I have split with the father as she never wants to come back to my house and now my son is starting to do the same becuase he has a new gf and they are the perfect family and im on my own, everything I do is never as good as whats at daddies house, we have them half the week each so its not like hes a weekend dad and they just pleased to see him. He fights me on everything. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. He cant be without her for even a minute. Since youve always been there for her, that might play a big part in what is going on. He is great with me on my own we play cuddle and take him to the park a lot. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. When you feel rejected, she will sense your reactions and you end up in vicious circle of guilt, sadness, rejection, and more sadness and guilt. After college Im with her all the time, I play with her, feed her, do things that I feel is bonding but she still prefers my mother when given the choice. What can I do? If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? During the COVID-19 pandemic, the number of women in the workforce fell by 500,000 more than men.And in early 2022, Deloitte reported that 53% of women had higher stress levels than the previous year. He just screams in my arms. Id say that is completely normal! I have never been away from her for more than 2 hours before this and now she doesnt even care to see me. Try movement like rocking 4. Or is she a bit distant to you also then? Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. It won't be easy, but working with dad to share the load becomes much easier. It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. I have a 16 or 17 month cousin, but she calls me Mom! She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. It breaks my heart and I consider just leaving her. I dont know if maybe he was picking up on my dark mood, my insecurities? If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. When I go to pick her up from day care, she wont even respond when she sees me. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. Try to not show any hurt feelings if she goes to her grandma; she obviously isnt doing it to hurt you and may become quite confused if she can sense your irritation when it happens. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. The most common reason a baby would begin to reject the breast after receiving a bottle is that the bottle was an easier route to take. Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. But I feel like there are some differences, too. After a mid year holiday I started a new term and now she seems to pretty much loathe me when I get home and quite frankly it is breaking my heart. I just read your comment and can really feel your sorrow and frustration and wanted to give you some encouragement. Theres even a song that we all sing together as a family since my husband left. We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . saying that she isnt good the way she is today. You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. The situation must be painful for you. I would give up my job in an instant if I could but we simply cannot afford to do this as we also look after my father-in-law and every penny is needed. Usually at this age, making sure that your child isnt doing anything dangerous (swallowing things, climbing too high, running out in the street, biting himself or other children et cetera) is more or less enough as an ambition. And hug your wife. Hello- Im the mother who wrote when my son was 9 mos and again at 12 mos. It is heart-breaking, what can I do? oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. i dun get to spent time with her during weekdays..my husband dun understand me wat i am going through . For example, dinner time could be a point in time where after your mom stays away from your daughter as much as possible. Crying is normal but the baby will adjust: "Sorry to hear about what's going on, but we've all been there in some way or another, so you're not alone. What am I doing wrong? However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. While I would never ever leave my child, I am very concerned about the lasting effect on our relationship. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. Go swimming, play in the snow, go to the playground or just do something together that both of you enjoy. She just says well what can i do/say. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! You are and always will be their only mother. And I would say it is actually a good sign. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. Then when my mother-in-law came to pick him up so I could go to work and I tried to give him a kiss he wouldnt let me and he hit me in the face and cried when I tried to give and hug and hold him he cried. You are obviously there for your son. I have an 8 month old daughter. We are all in the same boat, and seems what I thought was my bad parenting somehow. Congratulations on your little daughter! After some time, if all adults involved really try to focus on what is best for the baby and put their personal feelings aside, things will eventually turn out well. But i continued being there for her. I feel like why I didnt die when she was born. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. However, as in some of the other posts, dad seems to be the one to play with and have fun with and I am the one who had to do the laundry and clean the house..could this have anything to do with the favoritism? While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. And I really hope that this is just a phase that she is going through. Eventually I had to admit that this was not helping either her or me and quit with breastfeeding, something that hurts me to my core. Things went downhill from there. It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. Cafemom wanted a detailed truth about returning to work after having a baby. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. In the world of occupational therapy, you often hear about the sensory and emotional needs of older kids who are struggling with sensory processing. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. In most cases, mothers return to work as soon as their child is about 5-6 years old. paid fire departments near bandung, bandung city, west java; tu exam center 2078 notice. Just continue to be there for her and show that you are still around even if things are not exactly like before. my daughter is now one year old and our bond has strengthened. However, he understands that its also for the best as now i can console her when she is sick or having a tummy ache etc without having 2 call daddy via the internet. It does feel like all I am used for is food and diaper change. Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. Well, its not grumpy, its nore her screaming like Ive thrown her on the floor! Secondly, it will help you and your hubby becoming partners in parenting more. I try to comfort him even when hes inconsolable and even when he doesnt seem to want me. Weekends too. When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. I am sure you mean really well, but in a way you are saying that you need behave badly for her to appear as a good mom, i.e. I have 11 month old baby and until 3 weeks ago I was 24 hours with him. Honestly, I feel like there must be something inherently wrong with me for my own (9 month) baby not to love me as much as my partner. When he's with me. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. xxx. I am worried my baby will have emotional problems in the future ? Take days of vacation or maternal leave, ask your mom to bring your daughter to your work for lunch, work from home, let go of as many of your chords as you can or do them together with your daughter, co-sleep with her, talk to her, bathe with her, sing to her. XOXO, Paula. Best of luck. I dont know why she it is getting upset at me and no one else. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . I play with, love and nurture my 17 month old boy but he doesnt seem to care about me. If I hold him, he wriggles and cries to get away. Mine is something similar. The other important thing is to protect your supply. I am in a similar state..My daughter has chosen my husband and my MIL always over me..I had a C section and whenever she used to cry as a newborn my MIL would come and whisk her away..Dad was her all time fav cos he would sing to her in his deep voice..I comforted myself saying that it would all be fine but she is one year old now and I see no improvement..When she is crying, she doesnt want me.My MIL whisks her away and she stops crying in a sec..My MIL thinks I am not doing a good job as a mon and that erodes my confidence as a working woman and a mom..I regret having my baby sometimes even though she is the most beautiful angel in my eyes..I cry and I have a diary written for her to read when she becomes a mom..On the overall I dont feel like a mom..My daughter doesnt hug me..She doesnt call me Mama.She hugs her dad and grandma all the time and says even Apple and Papa..I guess I am just not meant to live!! Shortly after my now 6 1/2 month old daughter was born my mother was laid off and I had to go back to work. What you need to do is to take a step back and stop taking your daughters preferences as evidence that you have done everything wrong. i feel so usless at the moment, i have a 5 month old daughter who in my mind hates the bones of me, as soon as her dad wakes in the morning to go to work she screams the place down for at least 3 hours,i just cant do anything to calm her down, when i finally get her settled again i just find my self breaking down in tears infront of my 2 year old son, he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me, i feel like i am doing everything on my own, my partners mother only lives round the corner but she is as helpful as a glass hammer, she has my partners 2 sons from his ex partner every weekend but she wont do with my daughter, my parents help me as much as they can, but they also have jobs to do. 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