However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. - GET THE FUCK OUT. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. See what she has to say. My husband wasnt home at the time. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. (By the way, dwahling, am loving your tu-tu and Toys R Us tiara! So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. Oh, I see. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. I want to break down and cry. I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. You're not attracted to him? But please seperate the issues. The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. If this is bothering you, then tell him. That's a long time for kissing. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. You cheated. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. My wife wants to leave because of this. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? Should I ask him for gas money? Lees theory has a big vulnerability. What!! Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. Well, then, let me enlighten you. I am sure this girl knows he is married. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. You already have internalized that part. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. Before you close I'd like to say that I totally agree with you. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. It's just a "good weekend?" When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. Fear holds you back. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. I wouldn't want to hear about it if I were in his position. You drank and you kissed. response. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. For what possible reason? My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. This recently happened to me. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. (SK, that award doesn't exist. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. I felt disorientated. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." There's a difference between sex and kissing. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. Shes Colombian and very fiery. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. "and though he immediately pulled away". It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. I feel horrible. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. It is the gateway to another feeling. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. I can't stop playing it over again and again. The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Why? Good luck. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. Pointer much appreciated, though. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . In essence . Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. Add your answer to this question! SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. She had gone to bed. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. Press J to jump to the feed. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Don't feel guilty. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. Can you tthan please explain this? I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. find me on and follow me on. Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". I told him straight away what had happened. 8=) ) I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I was devastated. If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. 4 days ago. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. So what do you think? I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. Forget about it! I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. ;-p Well you need to figure that out and fast. No, you don't. For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! But living a lie would be so much worse. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. female Or do I? I know it was wrong and I regret it all. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not? Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. Wouldn't you? I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. JavaScript is disabled. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. She may say that. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. As time elapsed, I realized that I was attracted to him and this began to concern me. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). (I wonder why.) Truth-seekers are never popular. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me.