Do you think loss of passion in relationships is mainly physiological and hormonal, or is it emotional and anger-related? A main effect is that they often divorce you. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. Its hard for her to open up and be vulnerable. They have three grown daughters and four Dr. Tom O'Bryan's Video Series on Reversing Auto-immune, Dr. Zach Bush's Video on Healing your Gut. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. PR.com: So oxytocin is our version of testosterone. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. Very few women have that insight, so hell end up feeling guilty. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. . His wife said that he had been feeling a little different over the past couple weeks before he went to the ER on Thursday, July 7, 2022 - where he was quickly admitted to the critical care unit. They experience sexual attraction. John Gray: Its blowing everybody away. That wasnt the right part. Three. Its hard for her to acknowledge aspects of who she is because she [fears] she will be judged or ridiculed. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. still has, 25 years after it was published! For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE Get personalized pricing by telling us when, where, and how you want to use this asset. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. Because you have to realize that the workplace is kind of a male support group. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Why it's important for men to do things and be busy to help them feel more, Various exercises and things partners can do to heal and create a, Why men need to spend more time alone and do something that challenges them in a healthy manner like an ice bath or a. But there is another guy who hangs out with girls because they listen to him talk about his feelings, and hell say guys dont relate to it or like it at all. We have to have a life that is rich in different types of support. Its starting to sound like youre saying Im this selfish person. I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. Dont I do anything nice? For men, anytime they do something difficult. Links and Resources. Scroll back to top . When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. Maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. . John Gray: A little mystery, thats right. This guy has a problem because guys wont want to hang out with him, and girls will be like friends to him, but they are never going to want to have a relationship with him. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. PR.com: Yes, that is true. You want an attitude of sharing and letting go, instead of festering. John Gray: Its a common pattern. That means women need to talk 10 times more than men to share their emotions! And more and more women are making as much, or more, than men. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with. Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety, and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance, and better sleep. What do you mean by that? WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. I was the bystander I had in mind and I really would not like to see that transaction, much less to be on the receiving end of Bonnies anger. I dont know. SELECT OPTIONS SAVE TO CART John Gray: Oh, theres no question in anybodys mind that that is the case. When I want something, it doesnt seem so important. My wife and I have been together for thirty years, and weve been married twenty-five years. Its not like I have all this thought out (He asked what she thought they should spend the money on). He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. This was written to illustrate how John did what needed to be doneand so should we all, guysand so resolved the crisis. Tap into Getty Images' global scale, data-driven insights, and network of more than 340,000 creators to create content exclusively for your brand. You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. Learning to deal with our emotions and stress is the key to heart health. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Depth with edge. We help humans discover physical & emotional intelligence to live life well, We help humans discover physical& emotional intelligence to live life well, Copyright 2022 Wellness Force Media All Rights Reserved. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. Are you serious about your health? When you do that, she can share her emotions in a more positive way. Like, for instance, being from Venus? Gray says that there are serious main and side effects to making them act like they are from Mars. If you have good human skills, youll do well in most relationships. (He asked her what she wanted to buy.) John Gray: Thats right. Through videos, blog posts, online courses, books, and groundbreaking live events, youll learn down-to-earth practical insight and wisdom that will change your life forever. WebBus Schedule. Here is the resolution of the computer argument above. Dr. Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. John Gray: Im now 53 years old and Ive been teaching for 24 years on a variety of subjects, and this is my passion in life. Boards are the best place to save images and video clips. Im still amazed at the relevance thatMen Are from Marsstill has, 25 years after it was published! WebHe is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. How a man can be there for his partner and create a safe space by being cool, calm, and collected. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. If John does what he is supposed to do, nearly anything Bonnie does will work out. One of the key components for lowering stress for women is nurturing activities, rhythmic activities and non-urgency activities. Everybody thought it sounded too much like astrology, and nobody would publish it. 2023 Getty Images. You go away; Im taking care of everything. Several companies declined because they didnt want to use the title (laughs). Reassurance is a key factor to keep that estrogen up. You must seek advice from a licensed physician before acting on any information provided on this website. I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. I dont mean to upset you. The truth is, even though our roles have shifted, there are still fundamental differences between men and women. How can you not if you feel that [men and women] are the same? The #1 essential oil endorsed by Wellness Force! And I dont know them, but theyd been married forty years. It just feels like you dont care about me. Hes created methods of understanding women, for women. A simple impactful change is to go on a complaining fast. For men Heart opens when you feel successful in helping others. The importance of doing a lot of little things for your female partner to help build their estrogen back up. He asked if he could talk to me, but I said, Do so at your own risk because youll end up wanting to get back involved in this relationship.. In the nineties when the book was very popular, that is when most of the universities began having gender studies departments. PR.com: This may be an offensive question for some people, but do you think that the womens movement over the past few decades has actually hindered male/female relationships and caused the divorce rate to rise? Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. Its not like I have all this thought out (He asked what she thought they should spend the money on). John Gray: The good thing is that women are, to a great extent, seen as equals in the workplace, and in the universities there are more women graduating than men. Then Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986 and she died of cancer in 2018. When they do something they are good at their hormones go up, which is great! You are going to buy what you want and thats it. I know Ive been the emotional one plenty of times, not aware of why. And is it really irrational to do first the only thing you can do firstthis is from Bonnie Grays point of viewand so, clear the way to do what can, after all, be done second? But speaking as a woman, when I read in your book how women really need that female bonding and camaraderie, and how they spent all day bonding with other women many decades ago, I was picturing an old fashioned sewing circle. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. ), Bonnie: Have you researched the market? Our couch needs to be recovered. Anything else, he will defend himself. Oh, please! If you dont say, This is important for my health, then you kind of go, Ill just have sex when I feel like it, as opposed to creating a schedule where it would happen. These differences are reflected in our biology: our hormones and brain chemistry. She had two little children from a previous marriage, and in our first year of marriage we had a child together, so we had three daughters. But when a man opens up about his feelings a woman becomes even more concerned with upsetting him. He was an Associate Pastor to Dr. John MacArthur at Grace Community Church for five years overseeing the Shepherding Ministries. We can even get addicted to complaining. He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. Just the fact that I could talk about my feelings without you getting upset with me makes me feel so loved. John Gray: A lot of these ideas I put forth are very counter-therapy. You know, the other day with this happened, I had a lot of feelings come up. These arerole materelationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Hello, feeling heard! John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. Their love story unfolded in a series of popular self-help books that have sold millions of copies and have been translated into 5o languages. They are the original Mars and Venus - yes, that "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." During graduate school, John served as the Assistant Dean of Men at Bob Jones University for five years. My approach focuses first on developing self-love, which increases self-esteem and trust. When the sexual attraction is gone it is really hard to stay in a relationship today. What I do is put it together in a coherent package to apply it in useful ways. Join the Wellness + Wisdom VIP email newsletter toget notified first for the latest W+W podcasts, special exclusive discounts, and get FREE access to the M21 Guide: a simple yet powerful 21 minute morning system to give you more energy + better immunity so you can live life well. Do you want to be seen as insecure or as a child? They need to forget about their problems to get their testosterone up. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. The only real answeror maybe its just the best oneis to find someone you naturally relate to. Oprah Winfrey's heart and creative instincts inform the brand -- and the magnetism of the channel.Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. We just need to know what their needs are, and to realize how we have sabotaged the situation. Easily a week could slip by and you kind of went, What happened there? What happens is it is so easy to get out of the routine, and out of the habit of it. Ill still forget to do stuff, but my wife just simply asks me to do it again. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Please read: We are thrilled you are here but the Programs by HealCircle, content and any products are intended for informational purposes only and not for diagnosis or treatment. John Gray on Beyond Mars and Venus. WebJohn lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. It just feels like you dont care about me. Then we have a gift to encourage you! I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. 2Go Travel; Cokaliong Shipping Lines; Maayo Shipping Lines You have finally let your diplomatic character get the better of you. You write like a man who has had experience getting to the source of the problem and also a man who tried rope-a-dope. John Gray: It gets to the root of the matter, and then we can honor those differences because many of them are physiological. (She persisted). What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. (LogOut/ John and Bonnie Gray, Just Doin TheirJobs. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. Please contact us anytime at help@healcircle.org for any questions or to just connect and share your thoughts! Try not verbalize negative complaints to your loved ones. Liked what you heard? Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. Sign up below and get started today! In this post, I want to look at what John Gray is supposed to dowhat his job isand at what Bonnie Gray is supposed to do. And it isnt always rope-a-dope. (He says he didnt like being questioned, but by saying as little as this, he was able to prevent clashing with her). When my wife would take responsibility for her happiness, and then ask me to do something [for her], then she would become happier, and I would take credit for the whole thing. Preparing comes next. . I have actually done that. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. For men, when they get upset, this is not the time for them to talk to their spouse. Collect, curate and comment on your files. Therapy is quite often biased in that way, in reinforcing the womans dissatisfaction in attempting to change a man and his nature, rather than using his nature to be most supportive of her. You can also visit VenusOnFireMarsOnIce.com. And so is Bette, although if I did let it slip and act like that, she would say, Thats not like you at all. Little does she know. Theres the guy who just likes girls and also has male friends. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she holds onto negative emotions. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). Nobody has done that study yet, but Ive done it in my own anecdotal research. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. Then women would write to me and say, Im pregnant now! They got pregnant because they were relaxed and their oxytocin levels were there, and their body could respond. Im sure they cared enough about each other to say, Just go off and be happy. Or it could have been the other way around. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. It reinforces all of the testosterone values. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Bei kommerzieller Verwendung sowie fr verkaufsfrdernde Zwecke kontaktieren Sie bitte Ihr. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over? I ask, Is this really the best she can do? I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. John Gray Speech. We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. What is the core of women? If a man said, Women are just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman. For more information on Dr. John Gray, visit www.marsvenus.com. In the nineties the drug companies discovered that oxytocin was not only the nurturing hormone, but was also the hormone responsible for womens sexual response. Reassurance is a key factor to level their testosterone and keep that estrogen up. Dr. John Gray, The only way that you can grow is to step beyond where you were limited. Learning how to deal with stress is the key to heart health. I just want you to know in advance that it sounds worse than it is. Gray was in his fifth year as president of the school board. PR.com: Many people will be surprised by this information. Pretty smart of us, I think. Asking for his patience (her job) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has (his job) are both collegial acts. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? I want to poke just a little today at the way John and Bonnie Gray illustrate what communication between a husband and a wife ought to look like. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. People kept saying, You have to write this in a book. Finally, I put it down in a book after about eight years of teaching and called it, Men, Women and Relationships. I have a recent example of that one. Brain scans were developed and every department had brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations. 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